Understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers - Take One

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass Is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in
his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The
engineer took the
frog out of his pocket,smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the
engineer took the
frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do
anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer.I
don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking
frog, now that's cool."

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and
Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

An architect, an artist and an engineer were
discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion
and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
" Both? "
"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will
each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go
to the lab and get some work done."

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

Two engineering students were walking across campus
when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautifulwoman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
"Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."