Author: rahul

  • Never assume that BOSS knows everything!

    A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a SHREDDER with a piece of paper in his hand.

    “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left for the day. Can you make this thing work?”

    “Certainly, Sir” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

    “Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need another photocopy ”

    Moral of the story: never, never assume that BOSS knows everything!

  • Men Heard To Please

    Men Are Hard To Please …….VERY VERY TRUE

    The problems with GUYS:
    If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
    If u Don’t , he says u are PROUD .
    If u DRESS Nicely , he says u are trying to LURE him;
    If u Don’t , he says u are from VILLAGE .
    If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
    If u keep QUIET , he says u have no B RAINS .
    If u are SMARTER than him, he’ll lose FACE ;
    If he’s Smarter than u, he is GREAT .
    If u don’t L ove him, he tries to POSSESS u;
    If u Lovehim! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
    If u tell him your PROBLEM , he says u are TROUBLESOME ;
    If u don’t , he says that u don’t TRUST him.
    If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
    If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
    If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED ;
    If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
    If u SMOKE , u are BAD girl;
    If he S MOKES , he is GENTLEMAN.
    If u do WELLin your exams, he says it’s LUCK ;
    If he does WELL, it’s BRAINS .
    If u HURThim, u are CRUEL ;
    If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
    & sooo hard to please !!!!!

    If u send this to guys, they will swear that it’s not true …….
    but if u don’t, they say u are selfish …..
    The moral of the story is …….

    SEND THIS TO GUYS OUT THERE ANYWAY …

    Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter …..

  • Nine Words Women Use

    Nine words women use…

    1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
    2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
    3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
    4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
    5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
    6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
    7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.
    8. Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!
    9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.
  • Engagement And 27 Birthday

    I thought of giving my friends and distant relatives a surprise by posting a blog entry that I’m going to get married soon. But I delayed this for so long that now probably everyone who knows me is informed of my marriage :). And for those who still don’t know this, here is the official announcement. I’m no longer single and ready to mingle (oops … did I just break someone’s heart? :p). I am committed to Veena, a very sweet natured and cute looking girl. She is actually the sister of a very close buddy of mine, Vamsidhar. Our story is not very uncommon. We were initially good friends. Then I got interested in her. But she wasn’t. And then when I let it go, she got interested in me :). Whatever, in the end both of us were interested in each other and decided to take the relationship ahead. Our parents took some time to give their nod. And once that was done, we decided on the engagement and marriage dates. The engagement was held on August 6 in Nellore. And the marriage is to be held this October. So, at last, my bachelor life concludes :)!

    About two weeks after my engagement, I was in for a surprise. It was my birthday and my dear friend Shailu (Sailaja) had planned all surprises for me which included a birthday party at midnight, gift from my mom, cake and roses on behalf of my fiancee, a baby pillow and many greeting cards. For the unaware, Shailu happens to be my colleague’s cousin and oh boy, I am so happy to have such a wonderful friend who cares and pampers me so much. And frankly speaking, I feel she is much more to me than a friend. She is a family member. Shailu, if you are reading, this is for you – “I know you hate it when I use words like thank you and sorry. But still I’ll use them :). Thanks for being a part of my life.”.

    I’ve uploaded my engagement pictures and birthday photos in my photo gallery. Those who do not have access it can put me a mail requesting for the username and password.

  • Confessions of a man

    Got this as a forward from someone …


    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

    I said “WHAT????!!! What was that?!”

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…”You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went home. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

    She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’ll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT???!!!” I then said, “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

    Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.


  • First They Came

    This is one of my favourite poems. I remember reading it in school and firmly believe in it. The summary of the poem is simple. If today you do not raise your voice for the down-trodden and the lesser fortunate, then tomorrow there will be nobody left to support you when in need.


    When the Nazis came for the communists,
    I remained silent;
    I was not a communist.

    When they locked up the social democrats,
    I remained silent;
    I was not a social democrat.

    When they came for the trade unionists,
    I did not speak out;
    I was not a trade unionist.

    When they came for the Jews,
    I remained silent;
    I wasn’t a Jew.

    When they came for me,
    there was no one left to speak out.


    You can find more information about the poem here:

    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Martin_Niem%C3%B6ller
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came…

  • Cheapest VoIP Provider to India

    Betamax, the company behind low cost voip services such as VoipDiscount has now come out with another offering Actionvoip. While Actionvoip does not provide free calls to any destination, it does provide the cheapest rate to call up Indian landlines (46 paise / minute) and mobiles (66 paise / minute). This is so far the cheapest rates I have ever come across for calling Indian phones.

    Betamax is a VOIP company which in my opinion provides generally the lowest calling rates. They have rolled out many VOIP websites. For a complete list of Betamax services and their price comparisons, you might visit the below websites:

    http://backsla.sh/betamax
    http://progx.ch/home-voip-prixbetamax-3-1-1.html

    Based on the rates to the country you are planning to call and the number of free-days you would like to have, you could decide on which service of theirs to use. Certain things I would like to highlight:

    • Watch out for the freedays. Some provide 0 days, some 90, some 120 and I think only one (VOIPBusterPro) offers 365 days a year (but there is a catch as they charge 3.9 euro cents connection fee per call).
    • Though they claim to provide VoIP-In numbers for inbound calling, this feature is not available for everyone. I think it is only available for those calling from some specific countries.
    • There has been some credit card fraud related cases with Betamax. I am not sure what had happened. But it might be a good idea to use something like Paypal rather than your credit card.
    • Lastly, from what I have heard, customer service at Betamax really sucks. I even remember sending them some query and not getting back any response. Which means if you are facing problems with your account, there might be nobody to help you out.
  • HAND BOOK 2009

    Health:

    1. Drink plenty of water.
    2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
    3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
    4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
    5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
    6. Play more games.
    7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
    8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
    9. Sleep for 7 hours.
    10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

    Personality:

    11. Don’t compare your life to others . You have no idea what their journey is all about.
    12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
    13. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
    14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
    16. Dream more while you are awake.
    17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
    18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
    19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
    20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
    21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
    22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but
    the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
    23. Smile and laugh more.
    24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

    Society:

    25. Call your family often.
    26. Each day give something good to others.
    27. Forgive everyone for everything.
    28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
    29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
    30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
    31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

    Life:

    32. Do the right thing!
    33.. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
    34. GOD heals everything.
    35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
    36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
    37. The best is yet to come.
    38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
    39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

  • Thank You From Jayaprakash Narayan, Lok Satta Party

    7th May 2009

    Dear Friend,

    You, along with thousands of like-minded volunteers and supporters
    have done a spectacular job for the 2009 elections! Lok Satta Party
    (LSP) whole-heartedly acknowledges and thanks all your unstinted
    efforts including phone calls to voters, talking to and convincing
    friends and family members, circulating emails, forwarding of SMSes,
    directly volunteering at our offices and in constituencies and
    donating to LSP’s cause. All these efforts helped ‘create a
    buzz’ about our Party, our campaign and our cause. Your efforts
    generated hope and excitement and sustained confidence among millions
    of voters.

    The 2009 General Election has been an extraordinary journey….

    Lok Satta Party received enthusiastic support received from all
    sections of the population. There are three reasons why:

    1. Twelve-and-half years of dedicated and committed hard work by
    thousands of Lok Satta Volunteers making it the largest civil society
    movement in India; they have been translating ideas into action on a
    sustained basis since 1997.

    2. The citizens have been watching Lok Satta Party very closely since
    its formation on October 2, 2006. They have scrutinized every move of
    LSP and assessed whether actions match its professed ideals on several
    key fronts:

    Ø Abjuring voter-inducements such as money and liquor

    Ø Raising and utilizing resources in a completely ethical and
    transparent manner

    Ø Not having alliances and seat adjustments with parties/groups for
    short-term expediency at the cost of principles and long-term outcomes

    Ø Whether its agenda is consistent, practical, contributes to
    nation-building and reconciles conflicting interests

    Ø Not resorting to extralegal and obstructionist methods of
    political action such as bandhs, rasta rokos, etc.

    Ø Internal democracy in conducting the party affairs

    LSP emerged successful on all these counts.

    Most of LSP’s candidates are young, seriously committed to public
    good but were new to electoral politics and were generally unknown to
    the people. However, not a single LSP candidate had resorted to

    unethical practices – even as the top leaders of other parties had
    shamelessly resorted to bribing of voters with money and liquor, in
    their own constituencies.

    Thousands of ordinary citizens including the poor and the deprived,
    and the disadvantaged had contributed their time and money for LSP’s
    campaign. Many daily wage labourers had contributed Rs. 500-1000 –
    well beyond their means.

    While there are some shortcomings in the party as a whole, the people
    have recognized LSP’s honest and earnest efforts to build a New
    Political Culture and to give a sensible direction to building the
    country’s future.

    3. The traditional political parties, which are LSP’s competitors,
    had thoroughly exposed themselves by their naked opportunism, family
    rule, corruption, absence of a real agenda and bankruptcy of ideas,

    unethical and illegal practices and lack of demonstrable commitment
    to public good. The disgust and anger against traditional politics
    made LSP even more attractive to the voters.

    In this election, LSP drew support from all sections of the society
    and from the following groups, in particular:

    Ø The youth, including college-educated youth and even
    school-children

    Ø Women, especially the housewives

    Ø The middle class

    Ø Families affected by the liquor menace, in the rural areas

    Ø Other sections of the poor, whose children (typically school or
    college-going) had some awareness about LSP and on the real issues
    confronting their families.

    The challenges faced by LSP have not been small either:

    Despite the groundswell of public support, the mainstream media had
    almost completely ignored LSP. For instance, had a non-Telugu person
    come to AP and followed the newspapers, she would not have learnt that
    LSP even exists! This is because of cynicism, corruption including
    selling of news space for partisan propaganda, directed vested
    interest and participation in power games. However, thanks to the

    word-of-mouth, LSP’ message reached nearly all people in the State.

    LSP has put up 248 candidates for the AP Legislative Assembly (out of
    a total of 294 seats) and 33 candidates for the Lok Sabha (out of 42
    from the State). The total expenditure incurred by /all/ our

    candidates and the Party, put together, would be less than half of
    the expenditure incurred by /a single/ MP candidate from a traditional
    political party. All the mainstream parties put together have spent

    over 4500 crore rupees during this election; LSP’s total
    expenditure (party and candidates together) is around 0.1% of this.
    The average expenditure of LSP’s candidates for each constituency is
    less than

    Rs. 1 lakh! Their rivals spent Rs 3-5 crores, on an average.

    All things considered, how the groundswell of public opinion would
    translate into votes and subsequently, into seats will be known only
    on May 16th, 2009, when the Election Commission counts the votes and
    declares the results. Irrespective of the election results, Lok Satta
    Party is firmly committed to successfully establishing a truly ethical
    New Political Culture across India.

    Thanks to all your efforts over the recent few months, Andhra Pradesh
    has become the epicenter for transformational politics. In five years
    time, politics of India will change for good as people discover their

    strength and realize they are the masters of their destiny and not
    the parties and their candidates.

    We hope you will not just continue but increase your support of and
    participation in LSP’s New Political Culture!

    Warm Regards,

    Jayaprakash Narayan

    President

    Lok Satta Party

    www.loksatta.org

  • What Does A Woman Want

    Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
    neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved
    by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom,
    as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would
    have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still
    had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do
    women really want?

    Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to
    young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better
    than death, He accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by
    year’s end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone:
    The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He
    spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
    Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would
    have the answer.

    But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the
    kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the
    year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She
    agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price
    first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of
    the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur’s closest friend! Young
    Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one
    tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

    He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
    He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible
    burden, But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with
    Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
    Arthur’s life and the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding
    was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur’s question thus: ‘What a
    woman really wants?’

    She said, ‘Is to be in charge of her own life.’

    Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a
    great truth. And that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was.
    The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and
    the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and,
    Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the
    bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he
    had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked
    what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
    to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her
    horrible and deformed self only half the time, and the beautiful
    maiden the other half.

    ‘Which would you prefer? She asked him.

    ‘Beautiful during the day …. or at night?’

    Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a
    beautiful woman to show off to his friends, But at night, in the
    privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, Would he prefer having a
    hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him
    to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

    (If you are a man reading this…) What would YOUR choice be?

    (If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?

    What Lancelot chose, is given below:

    BUT… make YOUR choice before you scroll down below… OKAY?

    __________________________________________________________________________

    Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his
    question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

    Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the
    time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of
    her own life.

    Now … what is the moral to this story? The moral is…

    1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!

    2) If you don’t let a woman have her own way, things are going to get
    ugly.

    *So, always remember: IT’S EITHER ‘HER WAY’ OR IT’S ‘NO WAY’ !!! *