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Maria a beautiful Latina fell in love with Jose. She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans, she decided to tell her papa.

Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another. Your Mother does not know this, but Jose is your half-brother". So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry Ricardo.

But after telling papa again, he said, "Maria there's trouble still. You cannot marry Ricardo, my darling. Please don't tell your mother, but Ricardo is your half-brother too."

A nice article from Swami Vivekananda on LOVE........

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me.

Once when we were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love."

This was how I saw it:

As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it find.

A young attractive teenage college girl received love letter from her
classmate. It was as follows:
My dear Seema,
Please answer the following questionnaire. The (a)'s carry 10 marks
each,
(b)'s carry 5 marks each,
C's carry 3 marks each!
If you have scored more than 40, then you love me.
Don't delay to express it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and
wait bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion
whether
to love me or not.

How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A:Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would
be an Aspirin.

NO NO!! Carry on...you can still read it!!!

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.

How to make a woman happy........

It's really not difficult...

To make a woman happy; a man only needs to be :

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

17. a psychologist

18. a pest exterminator

19. a psychiatrist

20. a healer

20. a good listener

22. an organizer

23. a good father

24. very clean

25. sympathetic

26. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

Women's version:

Woman 2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman 1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror.
I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 2: Oh, God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut
like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck
with this stuff, I think.

Woman 1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you
could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute,
I think. I was actually going to do that, except that I was afraid

An ant knocks the door of a house. House owner opens the door.
"I want a place to stay", said the ant .
"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost",
said the owner.
Ant went inside and occupied that vacant room. After some days,
the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner "Can you
please allow this ant to stay along with me".
"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent" said the owner.
After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the
owner to allow that ant to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without

While walking down the street, a bum asks a man for $2.

"Will you buy booze?" the man asks, to which the bum replies "No."

"Will you gamble it away?"

Once again the bum replies "No."

Then the man asks, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what
happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

The Top Six Reasons Computers are Female

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory
for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative
as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not
going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE: