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The Cleaner

Grab a coffee and read this, it will put some perspective back into your
day...

An unemployed man went to apply for a job with Microsoft thinking his
best chance was as a janitor.

The employment manager arranged for him to take an aptitude test per the
company guide line: (Section XYZ: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager said, "You will be employed at minimum wage,
$5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you
information and authorization to report for work on your first day.

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Signs of Computer Addiction

People are advised not to spend too much time sitting before computer
system because the following things may happen in their future.

1. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

2. When counting objects, 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D..

3. At the superstore, you check to see if a kilogram is 1024 grams, a
litre is 1024 mls.

4. When you dream, you are going to dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.

5. When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come
to sleep, then I am going to divorce you!", you are going to scream at her

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Funny Responses in Linux

List of some "funny" responses from Linux when you mis-enter "appropriate"

$ cat "food in cans"

cat: can't open food in cans

$ nice man woman

No manual entry for woman.

$ rm God

rm: God nonexistent

$ ar t God

ar: God does not exist

$ ar r God

ar: creating God

$ make love

Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

$ sleep early today

bad character

$ got a light?

No match.

$ man: why did you get a divorce?

man:: Too many arguments.

$ !:say, what is saccharine?

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Where is God?

Where is God?

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys. The father replied, "Sure, do that before I kill them!"

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Incredible Movies

Indian movies will alwayz be an eye opener.Here is a story of Vijaykant's
next (Telegu) movie Its named as "Captain Planet"(WOW !!! wer do they get
these names??)

Vijaykant is a scientist in NASA.......( yes folks..........u read that
right.NASA...the American space lab-A very big set designed for this by
kalaipuli S.Dhaanu).

When our hero was busy launching a satellite to Pluto, his wife simran is
about to deliver a baby and she wanted to meet him. But the launch process
badly need a person like our hero, and there is no other option.

Category: 

Gifts

Four brothers left home for college, and they
became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years
later,they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the
gifts
they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in
another
city.
The first said "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in
the house."
The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you

Category: 

Me

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers.

He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a
child's whispered, "Hello?" "Is your Daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes," came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again, the small voice whispered, "No."

Category: 

Big John

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and
drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few
people
got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,
built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the
driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically
meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he
wasn't

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