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Millionaire's Daughter And Alligator

Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter that was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces: "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man that can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"

As soon as he finished his last word there was the sound of a large splash!

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Three Shots of Whisky

An Irishman comes into a bar and orders three separate shots of Irish whiskey. He downs one, engages in casual conversation with the bartender, eventually finishing the other two.

This goes on for a few days and the bartender finally says, "You know, I can put all three shots in one glass for you."

The Irishman replies, "No, I prefer it this way. See, I'm very close to my two brothers. They're both in Ireland now and this represents a drink for each of us. This way I can be closer to them and feel like we are all having a drink together."

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Leave

Suddenly one of the employees in an organisation
took 10 days Leave
without any notice. When he returned his
PL(project leader) asked for explanation..
The employee said "sir, my mom died unexpectedly"...
The PL let it go at
that!!!..
After 3 months the same pattern repeated, and this
time he said his father
died.... Then the PL got changed..
After 3 months the same pattern repeated.. And the
employee gave. The
explanation that his mom died. After 3 months same
thing again, and this
time his father died. This happened repeatedly for
2 years.

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Three Tough Mice

Three Tough Mice

There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes
a shot of tequila, slams the glass on the table and says, "I'm the
toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk throughout
the house collecting mouse poison, return to my nest and grind up
the pellets with my morning coffee -- just for an extra jolt to
start off each day."

The mice look at each other. The second mouse slams his whiskey --
throws his glass on the floor and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in
this city. I'm so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, I

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Self Made Man

A man comes to dinner at a new friend's house. While they eat, the
new friend's small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the
guest says, "Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?"

The kid says, "Daddy told me you were a self-made man."

"I am."

"Well, why did you make yourself ugly like that?"

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HR Proposal Letter

Ever wondered how a HR Manager could write a love letter to his girl friend.

To,

Juliet

Sub: Offer of love!

Ref: Meeting in coffee shop!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

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Call Centre Jobs

CALL CENTRE JOBS: PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEY R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still

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The Cleaner

Grab a coffee and read this, it will put some perspective back into your
day...

An unemployed man went to apply for a job with Microsoft thinking his
best chance was as a janitor.

The employment manager arranged for him to take an aptitude test per the
company guide line: (Section XYZ: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager said, "You will be employed at minimum wage,
$5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you
information and authorization to report for work on your first day.

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Funny Responses in Linux

List of some "funny" responses from Linux when you mis-enter "appropriate"

$ cat "food in cans"

cat: can't open food in cans

$ nice man woman

No manual entry for woman.

$ rm God

rm: God nonexistent

$ ar t God

ar: God does not exist

$ ar r God

ar: creating God

$ make love

Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

$ sleep early today

bad character

$ got a light?

No match.

$ man: why did you get a divorce?

man:: Too many arguments.

$ !:say, what is saccharine?

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