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Management Lessons

Lesson Number 1:
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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing all day long?

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson Number 2:
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Category: 

What is marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.

Category: 

Match Fixing

This joke was probably written in 2000 home series when SA ended up 2-0 in tests and 3-3 in ODIs, if I am right.:-)

A bookie calls Hansie Cronje before the match between India and SouthAfrica.
Cell phone rings. Hansie picks up.
Cronje : hello
Bookie : I am ....... Here.
Cronje : yes tell me
Bookie : how is the pitch
Cronje : ya dry and good for batting
Bookie : I want u to lose today's match
Cronje : impossible
Bookie : I will pay u $200,000
Cronje : will be difficult to make India win.
Bookie : I will pay u $250,000

Category: 

Software Guy Proposal Letter

Have you ever wondered how a software guy would
propose?

Well, here is a template ...

Dear Ms. ABC,

Baby, I've seen you yesterday while surfing on
local railway platform and realized that you are
the only site I was browsing for. For long time,
I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my
life and you can be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you
which never produces an executable code and hence
is useless.

Category: 

Sprite Ad

New AD - Imagine urself in Sprite Ad...

Your Colleague : Hey !! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh…. Night out Maar....Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!
You: Achha ! To usse Kya hoga ..
Your Colleague : Impression !!! Appraisal !!! Har appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks
You : Phir kya hoga...
Your Colleague: Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!
You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Category: 

IT Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began making an expected changes to the accounting modules,
limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable
programs such as NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning
2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

Desperate Wife.

Category: 

Talking Frog

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and
how you are my hero."

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to
his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

Category: 

Windows In Hindi

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago. He announced that
Microsoft plans to release a Windows 2000 version in Hindi. Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in Khirkiyan 2000.

Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save As
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Chuno = Select
Sab Chuno = Select All
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Dak = Mail
Dakiya = Mailer
Paas se dhekho = Zoom
Dhoor se dhekho = Zoom out
Kholo = Open
Band Karo = Close
Naya = New
Badli karo = Replace
Bhaago = Run
Chaapo = Print

Category: 

Another PJ

A person travelling in a deluxe car and he got struck in a desert..........he wants to take a bath with soap and water.......there is no water anywhere in the vicinity..........guess how he manages to take the bath in the desert

Scroll down

So here is the answer :

As he is having a 'd lux' car..........he will integrate it and hence the d(derivator) symbol will cancel out and he will get

lux + c(constant of integration)...........so he will get c(sea) and lux(soap)..........and he will enjoy taking a bath......

Category: 

Awesome PJ

A guy gets pissed off with his professor. Later he goes to canteen and
orders a paav-bhaji. When he lifts the paav for eating.... he sees
"Jannath" beneath the paav.

So based on the above explained conditions can anyone expect the sir's
name?

Scroll down for the answer........

Answer: "Ishq ki chau"

can neone explain why???

scroll down again for the explanation....

explanation: As per the song in Dil Se "Ginke sir ho Ishq ki chau, paav ke
niche jannath hogi".... that's why..... ;))))))))

Category: 

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