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World of Romance

World of romance

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes
and
points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something
she
expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the
point
system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the snow (+8) But return
with

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Words Woman Use

WORDS WOMEN USE
******************************
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you(guys)
need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes
is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing'

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Living in 2004

You know you're living in 2004, when...
1. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friendsis that they do not have e-mail addresses.

6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "0" to get an outside line.

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IT Deewar

I T - Deewar connection :

Conversation between an "IT guy" and "Daily Wage Construction Worker"

IT guy - Mere pass paisa hai....
Mere pass Daulat hai....
Bank Balance hai...
IT Sector ka naam hai....
Stock Options hai.....
Tere paas kya hai???

Daily Wage Construction Worker - (Softly) Mere paas kaam hai....!!!

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Strict CEO

A company, feeling it was time for a shapeup, hires a new CEO. The
new CEO is determined to rid the company of all unproductive
workers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a young chap
leaning on a wall and relaxing. The room is full of workers who were
busy working, except for this guy. The CEO decides to let his staff
know that he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you
make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I
make $300.00 a week.........Why?"

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Mail From Heaven

Once a husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed
wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from
her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home
to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her
e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into

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Don't mess With Children

These are sooooo cute and you will chuckle!!

7 reasons not to mess with a child

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a

whale to swallow a human because even though it was

a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a

whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could

not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask

Jonah".

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Selling Cola in Arab

One day I met a friend of mine. He was a salesman for a Cola company,
posted in the Middle East. Seeing him back home,
I got surprised and asked," Weren't you supposed to be in Arabia?"

He gave his account thus.
"I got posted in the Middle East. I was very confident that I will make a
good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown
there. But I had a problem as I didn't know to speak Arabic. So I planned
to convey the message through pictures. I
made 3 posters:

First - A man crawling through the hot desert sand totally exhausted and
panting.

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What Indian guys do when they stay alone with a gal?

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded in the middle
of nowhere.

2 Italian men and 1 italian woman
2 French men and 1 french woman
2 German men and 1 german woman
2 Greek men and 1 greek woman
2 Polish men and 1 polish woman
2 Mexican men and 1 mexican woman
2 Irish men and 1 irish woman
2 American men and 1 american woman
2 Indian men and 1 indian woman

One month later, on various parts of the island the following was observed.

A- one italian killed the other italian man for the italian woman.

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Some Application and Leave Letters

1. A candidate's application: "This has reference to
your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or
Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle
both, I am applying for
the post.

2. An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I
have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please
sanction me one week leave.

3. Another employee applied for half day leave as
follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not
return,
please grant me half day casual leave"

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