You are here

rahul's blog

Some good punch lines

Some great punch lines
1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I'm perfect.

2. I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

3. If I save time, when do I get it back?

4. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

7. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

8. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

9. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

10. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.


Sher Shayari

1) tum aa gaye ho ;
noor aa gaya hai
chalo teeno movie chalen

2) Maine tujhe sau-sau khat likhe,
tune kisi ka bhi jawab nahi diya;
kahin tere dil mein raddi ki tokri to nahi?

3) Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Paas gaya. to bheeg gaya.

4) jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi
jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi
dil ne kaha khud kushi(sucide) kar le jalim
bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi

5) Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,
badi joshh ke sath !
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,


Stupid Questions and Smart Answers


BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!




Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you
wake up today?

1)Pray, so that u may live... 2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!


Can u pronounce good English:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof,

woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.

Test results:

U r a good dog. Now stop barking.



Stupid Question and Answer

10 stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some
equally stupid answers:-

1. At the movies:
When you meet quaintances/friends Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing
A: Well,it's so hot , there were no cool cabs so I thought I'd watch some
advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus:
A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
A: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia why don't you try again or
should i try this time."

3. At a funeralne of the teary-eyed people


Witty One Liners

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in
After a while you realize that while you are getting
dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember
you when he is in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Behind every successful woman, is a man who is

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know


Hind Sight

Guy Kawasaki is one of founders of Apple Computer who helped create the Macintosh computer.

Guy Kawasaki

Palo Alto High School Baccalaureate Speech 6/11/95

Speaking to you today marks a milestone in my life. I am 40
years old. 22 years ago, when I was in your seat, I never,
ever thought I wouldbe 40 years old.

The implications of being your speaker frightens me. For one
thing, when a 40 year old geeser spoke at my baccalaureate
ceremony, he was about the last person I'd believe. I have



On Embracing a Religion called 'Positivism'

Prof R A Mashelkar, Director General, Council of Scientific and
Industrial Research (CSIR), New Delhi delivered the Convocation Address
at University of Delhi on 22nd February 2003. He said "Take our
space programme. The R&D budget of this programme was US $ 450 million
last year. The R&D budget for General Motors was around seven
billion dollars. What is it that our space programme has achieved?


Late Sitting

Speech on Late sitting - Narayana Murthy
Good article to read at least once.

Infosys Chairman - Mr.Narayana Murthy's Speech on Late sitting :

I know people who work 12 hours a day, six days a week, or more. Some
people do so because of a work emergency where the long hours are only
temporary. Other people I know have put in these hours for years. I don't
know if they are working all these hours, but I do know they are in the
office this long. Others put in long office hours because they are addicted
to the workplace. Whatever the reason for putting in overtime, working long


Go, Kiss the World

Go, Kiss the World

Welcome Address by Subroto Bagchi, Chief Operating Officer, MindTree Consulting Delivered to the Class of 2006 at the Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore, July 2nd 2004.



Subscribe to RSS - rahul's blog