Category: Misc

I’m not saying that “YOU ARE” or “YOU HAVE TO BE”. All
I’m saying is that there is a very (VERY) high chance
that you are an Indian traveler flying abroad if you
do any of the following things:

1. Carry home cooked food with you on the flight.

2. Wear a suit even if you are not going for any
business or business related work.

3. Ask the person sitting next to you in the flight
where they are going (pleaseeeeee people, it’s a
flight and not a bus. The chances are very very very
high that you are all going to the same place!!!)

4. Have a hand written gigantic sticker on top of your
hand bag and carry on luggage that discloses your
name, age, email id, phone number and hobbies.

5. Introduce your better half as your “V ife” and then
add that even she is “Wary excited”!

6. Sit next to random foreigners in airports and start
telling them why you are going abroad.

7. Ask the air hostess if you can get an extra meal.

8. Spend the time in an airport clicking photographs
next to every possible shop and then outdo yourself by
posing next to the restroom.

9. Explain everything in great detail to your wife
even though it’s the first trip abroad for BOTH of
you. If the wife actually nodds her head in agreement
and awe then you don’t even have to think twice before
you make the conclusion 🙂

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM : “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
SON : “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”
MOM : “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”
SON : “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.”
MOM : “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”
SON : “Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?”

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MOM : “One, you are Forty-TWO years old and should understand your
responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

IMPACT OF JOB-CHANGE

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a
bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop
window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said:

“Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap
would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my
first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a van carrying dead
bodies for the last 25 years.”

Coolest doubt in Mahabharat !!!!

In some remote village of India, one masterji is
teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students.
He is at the ‘krishnajanma’ part of it.

Masterji: “Kansa heard the akashwani that his
sister’s 8th child is going to kill him. He was
furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind
the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by
poisoning… Second one is born n kansa throws him
off the mountain peak. Third one is born…”

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his
hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n
confused)

Masterji: “Ramu bete, whole India does not have
doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?”

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki’s 8th
child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT
VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?

Masterji faints……………………. 🙂

*… read conversation between Mr. Watt and William Knott…*

“Who’s calling?” was the answer to the telephone.

“Watt.”

“What is your name, please?”

“Watt’s my name.”

“That’s what I asked you. What’s your name?”

“That’s what I told you. Watt’s my name.”

A long pause, and then from Watt, “Is this James Brown?”

“No, this is Knott.”

“Please tell me your name.”

“Will Knott.”*

YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED.
READ THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED…*

“Why not?”

“Huh? What do you mean why not?”

“Yeah! Why won’t you tell me your name?”

“But I told you my name!”

“Didn’t you say you will not?”

“Not not, knott, Will Knott!”

“That’s what I mean.”

“So you know my name.”

“Of course not!”

“Good. So now, what is yours?”

“Watt. Yours?”

“Your name!”

“Watt’s my name.”

“How the hell do I know? I am asking you!”

“Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have
not even told me yours yet.”

“You have been patient, what about me?”

“I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told
me yours yet.”

“Of course not!”

“See, you even know my name!”

“Of course not!”

“Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?”

“Because I don’t.”*

[Pause]*

“What is your name?”

“See, you know my name!”

“Of course not!”

“Then why do you keep asking ,Watt, is your name?”

“To find out your name!”

“But you already know it!”

“What?”

“See, but you know mine!”

“Of course not!”

“Exactly!”*

NOW THEY ARE AT A POINT WHERE BOTH THINK THE OTHER KNOWS THEIR NAME, BUT
THEY THEMSELVES DON’T KNOW THE OTHER’S NAME.*

“Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be
your answer?”

“Watt’s my name.”

“No, no, give me only one word.”

“Watt”

“Your name!”

“Right!”*

[Pause before it hits him]*

“Oh, Wright!”

“Yeah!”

“So why didn’t you say it before?”

“I told you so many times!”

“You never said Wright before”

“Of course I did.”

“Ok I won’t argue any more. Do you know my name?”

“I do not.”

“Well, there you go, now we know each other’s name.”

“I do not!”

“Good!”*

[Pause before it hits him]*

“Oh, Guud!”

“Good.”

“No wonder, it took me so long, is that Dutch?”

“No, it’s Knott!”

“Oh, okay. At least the names are clear now Guud.”

“Yes Wright.”*

NOW THEY BOTH THINK THEY KNOW EACH OTHER’S NAME AS WELL*