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Smart Programmer

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed
through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit
except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her
grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the
young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving
each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch
black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without

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Three Tough Mice

Three Tough Mice

There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes
a shot of tequila, slams the glass on the table and says, "I'm the
toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk throughout
the house collecting mouse poison, return to my nest and grind up
the pellets with my morning coffee -- just for an extra jolt to
start off each day."

The mice look at each other. The second mouse slams his whiskey --
throws his glass on the floor and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in
this city. I'm so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, I

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Leave

Suddenly one of the employees in an organisation
took 10 days Leave
without any notice. When he returned his
PL(project leader) asked for explanation..
The employee said "sir, my mom died unexpectedly"...
The PL let it go at
that!!!..
After 3 months the same pattern repeated, and this
time he said his father
died.... Then the PL got changed..
After 3 months the same pattern repeated.. And the
employee gave. The
explanation that his mom died. After 3 months same
thing again, and this
time his father died. This happened repeatedly for
2 years.

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Three Shots of Whisky

An Irishman comes into a bar and orders three separate shots of Irish whiskey. He downs one, engages in casual conversation with the bartender, eventually finishing the other two.

This goes on for a few days and the bartender finally says, "You know, I can put all three shots in one glass for you."

The Irishman replies, "No, I prefer it this way. See, I'm very close to my two brothers. They're both in Ireland now and this represents a drink for each of us. This way I can be closer to them and feel like we are all having a drink together."

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Millionaire's Daughter And Alligator

Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter that was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces: "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man that can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"

As soon as he finished his last word there was the sound of a large splash!

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Breaking The News

This couple were going on holidays and they left the neighbour in charge of the cat.

After about a week in their holiday they received a telegram to say that the cat was run over by a car and died.

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NewsPaper Ad

The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.

MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Pbone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY Notice: We regret having erred In R.D. Jones' ad yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."

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Door To Door Entrepreneur

This door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to become a boss, hiring three people to sell Bibles for him. He interviewed three people. The first came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you."

"OK, you're hired. Here's your kit; go sell!"

The second came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you."

"OK, you're hired! Here's your kit; go sell!"

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American Independence

The teacher asked Sam who had signed America's Declaration of Independence.

"I don't know and I don't care," said the boy rudely.

Later the teacher called both the student and his father to his office and explained the son's bad attitude.

"You must tell the truth" said the father angrily to his son. "If you signed it, admit it!"

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How many Bars?

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him?

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