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Misc

American Independence

The teacher asked Sam who had signed America's Declaration of Independence.

"I don't know and I don't care," said the boy rudely.

Later the teacher called both the student and his father to his office and explained the son's bad attitude.

"You must tell the truth" said the father angrily to his son. "If you signed it, admit it!"

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How many Bars?

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him?

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Where is God?

Where is God?

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys. The father replied, "Sure, do that before I kill them!"

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Incredible Movies

Indian movies will alwayz be an eye opener.Here is a story of Vijaykant's
next (Telegu) movie Its named as "Captain Planet"(WOW !!! wer do they get
these names??)

Vijaykant is a scientist in NASA.......( yes folks..........u read that
right.NASA...the American space lab-A very big set designed for this by
kalaipuli S.Dhaanu).

When our hero was busy launching a satellite to Pluto, his wife simran is
about to deliver a baby and she wanted to meet him. But the launch process
badly need a person like our hero, and there is no other option.

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Gifts

Four brothers left home for college, and they
became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years
later,they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the
gifts
they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in
another
city.
The first said "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in
the house."
The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you

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Me

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers.

He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a
child's whispered, "Hello?" "Is your Daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes," came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again, the small voice whispered, "No."

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Big John

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and
drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few
people
got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,
built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the
driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically
meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he
wasn't

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The Coffin

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry
and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she
would rather die than to live another year in prison. Over the
years she had become good friends with one of the prison
caretakers.

His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died
in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner
died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone.
The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket.

Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before

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