Category: Jokes
For quite sometime, I have been collecting a large number of jokes and funny articles (especially through mails). I felt that these have to be shared with everyone.
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New Isms
Chandrababuism You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad. Jayalalithaism You have two cows. You teach them to cry,”Ammaaaaaaa…” and fall at your feet. Karunanidhiism You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew. Gandhism You have two cows. But…
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My Kind of a Doctor
Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car…
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Men Are Hard To Please
Men Are Hard To Please The problems with GUYS: If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him; If u Don’t, he says u are PROUD. If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him; If u Don’t, he says u are from KAMPUNG. If u ARGUE with…
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Some good punch lines
Some great punch lines 1. I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I’m perfect. 2. I’ve got to sit down and work out where I stand. 3. If I save time, when do I get it back? 4. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. 5. I am free of all…
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Woman and the Frog
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three 3 wishes.” The woman freed the frog.…
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Indian Mathematics
SSC + HSC + BMS + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT . An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com. One Chinese gymnast = India’s Gold Medal tally since 1896 Sushmita Sen – 1.2 feet = Salman Khan. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London +…
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Millionaire’s Daughter And Alligator
Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter that was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces: “My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man…
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Where is God?
Where is God? In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits’ end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked…
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Funny Responses in Linux
List of some “funny” responses from Linux when you mis-enter “appropriate” $ cat “food in cans” cat: can’t open food in cans $ nice man woman No manual entry for woman. $ rm God rm: God nonexistent $ ar t God ar: God does not exist $ ar r God ar: creating God $ make…