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Eight Monkeys

I guess we follow this... honestly....

This one is brilliant.....read on ..it makes lot of
sense! Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of
the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas
hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey
tries to climb the ladder, all the other monkeys are
sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.
Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the
ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be
sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of
the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

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Dilbert's Theorem on Salary

Dilbert's Theorem on Salary states that engineers and scientists
never
earn as much salary as business executives, sales people &
Management guys
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation
based on the
following three postulates:

Postulate 1:
Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)

Postulate 2:
Time is Money (Time=Money)

Postulate 3:
(as every engineer knows): Power =Work/Time

It therefore follows:

Knowledge = Work / Time

and since Time = Money, we have:

Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work/Knowledge

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Love Algorithm

This algorithm has been tested and works fine.

1. Search for a most-beautiful girl.Find a way to talk to her. Finding a
reason depends on your skill.
You have to find a reason because she would never approach no matter how
frustrated she is.

2. If you don't succeed got to step 1 again.

3. Start with some concrete point and slowly slowly shift to her personal
details.

4. Ask her for coffee like: "You are busy right?".She will say "No". and
then "You don't like coffee?".
No direct thing like "Would you please come for coffee with me?"

5. Asking for lunch:

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Stanley Cup

Stanley Cup

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat
right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is
empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting
there. "No," says the neighbour. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible",
said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final
game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?" The neighbour says "Well,
actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but

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Baba

This is a conversation that took place between a person(Y) in the
public and a marketing guy(X).

X: Which shaving cream do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which aftershave do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which deodorant do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which toothpaste do you use?
Y: Baba's

X: Which shampoo do you use?
Y: Baba's

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Project Proposal

Programmer to Team Leader :

"We can't do this proposed project.**CAN NOT**. It will involve a major
design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy
system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this
application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it,
they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take
these type of projects."

Team Leader to Project Manager :

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have

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Interviews

E - Employee, C - Candidate

Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company
don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of
u.

Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a
girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This

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Stress Relievers

Stress Reliever # 1

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how

impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"
______________________________________________________________________

Stress Reliever # 2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.

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It's a dog's life

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a
dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is
back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in
its mouth. He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and
a leg of lamb, please". The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The
butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note
there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag,
placing it in the dog's mouth.

The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he

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20 Common Engineering Rules

The 4-year holiday called engineering

20 things common to all engg colleges:
1). The lecturers dont teach.The students dont study.The only guy who
benefits is the one who owns the 'dhaba' next to the college.

2).Rules are made to be broken.

3).Promises are made to be broken.
4).Deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!
5).Guys always think the chics in the college next lane are more beautiful.
5).The geeks are the most pampered lot during the internal exams.
6).The lab assistants are the most respected people(during the lab exams i.e)

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