Jokes

Men Are Hard To Please

The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in
mud.
After a while you realize that while you are getting
dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember
you when he is in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong
answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Behind every successful woman, is a man who is
surprised.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know

How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A:Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would
be an Aspirin.

NO NO!! Carry on...you can still read it!!!

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.

A person travelling in a deluxe car and he got struck in a desert..........he wants to take a bath with soap and water.......there is no water anywhere in the vicinity..........guess how he manages to take the bath in the desert

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So here is the answer :

As he is having a 'd lux' car..........he will integrate it and hence the d(derivator) symbol will cancel out and he will get

lux + c(constant of integration)...........so he will get c(sea) and lux(soap)..........and he will enjoy taking a bath......