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Indian Matrimony
These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart! Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail – Hello To Viewvers My Name is Somesha , I am single i…
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Fridge
One morning at a doctors surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him” OK, what happened to your back?” The patient replies “You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom.…
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How many Bars?
A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not…
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American Independence
The teacher asked Sam who had signed America’s Declaration of Independence. “I don’t know and I don’t care,” said the boy rudely. Later the teacher called both the student and his father to his office and explained the son’s bad attitude. “You must tell the truth” said the father angrily to his son. “If you…
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Door To Door Entrepreneur
This door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to become a boss, hiring three people to sell Bibles for him. He interviewed three people. The first came in and said, “I want to sell Bibles for you.” “OK, you’re hired. Here’s your kit; go sell!” The second came…
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NewsPaper Ad
The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which appeared four days in a row – the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Pbone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap. TUESDAY…
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Breaking The News
This couple were going on holidays and they left the neighbour in charge of the cat. After about a week in their holiday they received a telegram to say that the cat was run over by a car and died.
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Millionaire’s Daughter And Alligator
Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter that was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces: “My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man…
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Three Shots of Whisky
An Irishman comes into a bar and orders three separate shots of Irish whiskey. He downs one, engages in casual conversation with the bartender, eventually finishing the other two. This goes on for a few days and the bartender finally says, “You know, I can put all three shots in one glass for you.” The…