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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers.

He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a
child's whispered, "Hello?" "Is your Daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes," came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again, the small voice whispered, "No."

Category: 
Misc

Big John

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and
drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few
people
got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,
built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the
driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically
meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he
wasn't

Category: 
Misc

James Bond vs. Hyderabad Guy

James Bond vs. INDIAN Hyderabad guy

James Bond Style: The character James Bond has a peculiar style of introducing himself by calling first Bond, then followed by great smile & finally James Bond.

His style is absolutely killing but he doesn't know the consequences when he meets our great south indian guy.

When Bond meets a Hyderabad guy

James Bond: "My name's Bond...(smiles and then says).... James Bond."

James Bond: "And you?"

Telugu Guy : "I am Sai...

Venkata Sai...

Siva Venkata Sai...
Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai....

Category: 
Misc

The Coffin

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry
and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she
would rather die than to live another year in prison. Over the
years she had become good friends with one of the prison
caretakers.

His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died
in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner
died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone.
The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket.

Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before

Category: 
Misc

Signs of Computer Addiction

People are advised not to spend too much time sitting before computer
system because the following things may happen in their future.

1. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

2. When counting objects, 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D..

3. At the superstore, you check to see if a kilogram is 1024 grams, a
litre is 1024 mls.

4. When you dream, you are going to dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors.

5. When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come
to sleep, then I am going to divorce you!", you are going to scream at her

Category: 
Technical

Indian Matrimony

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail…

- Hello To Viewvers My Name is Somesha , I am single i dont have Famale, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Somesha ~*~

Category: 
Misc

Mail From Heaven

Once a husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed
wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from
her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home
to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her
e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into

Category: 
Misc

Don't mess With Children

These are sooooo cute and you will chuckle!!

7 reasons not to mess with a child

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a

whale to swallow a human because even though it was

a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a

whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could

not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask

Jonah".

Category: 
Misc

Management Lessons

Lesson Number 1:
----------------

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing all day long?

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

**************************************************************************

Lesson Number 2:
----------------

Category: 
Technical

What is marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.

Category: 
Technical

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