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Eight Monkeys

I guess we follow this... honestly....

This one is on makes lot of
sense! Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of
the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas
hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey
tries to climb the ladder, all the other monkeys are
sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.
Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the
ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be
sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of
the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.


Dilbert's Theorem on Salary

Dilbert's Theorem on Salary states that engineers and scientists
earn as much salary as business executives, sales people &
Management guys
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation
based on the
following three postulates:

Postulate 1:
Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)

Postulate 2:
Time is Money (Time=Money)

Postulate 3:
(as every engineer knows): Power =Work/Time

It therefore follows:

Knowledge = Work / Time

and since Time = Money, we have:

Knowledge = Work / Money.

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work/Knowledge



E - Employee, C - Candidate

Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company
don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of

Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This


It's a dog's life

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a
dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is
back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in
its mouth. He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and
a leg of lamb, please". The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The
butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note
there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag,
placing it in the dog's mouth.

The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he


Project Proposal

Programmer to Team Leader :

"We can't do this proposed project.**CAN NOT**. It will involve a major
design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy
system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this
application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it,
they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take
these type of projects."

Team Leader to Project Manager :

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have


Delivery Interpretations

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks Nine women
can deliver a baby in
One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks a single woman
cannot deliver a baby in
nine months.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman
can deliver nine
in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a
5) Marketing manager is a person who thinks I can
deliver a child whether a
man and woman is available or not.
6) Resource optimization team thinks I don't need a
man or woman, i'll
produce a child with zero resources.


Newton Laws Refined

Law 1 .Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or
forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by external unbalanced manager.

Law 2 . The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to the
payment received from client and takes place at the quick rate as when
deadline force is applied.

Law 3 . For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite
Software Implementation.

Bonus :-) Law 4.
Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It
can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in


Cyber Age Movie Story

Cyber Age Movie Story

Hero is a software engineer. He does not have a life worth speaking
of. He spends eighteen hours a day in the office working and browsing
the net.

Heroine is a software engineer in the same company. She does not have
a life either. She spends eight hours in front of her PC, thirteen
hours in front of the TV and the remaining, sleeping.

One day, Hero meets Heroine in a staff meeting. They argue endlessly
about the insanity of Microsoft applications.. especially Outlook

Couple of such fights later, Heroine is found drinking coffee with


Understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers - Take One

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass Is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in
his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The
engineer took the


IT Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began making an expected changes to the accounting modules,
limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable
programs such as NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning
2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

Desperate Wife.



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