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One Liners

Insulting SMS

[1] Fool

Earth may stop Rotating,
Birds may stop Flying,
Candles may stop Melting,
Fishes may stop Swimming,
Heart may stop Beating,
But your Brain will
never start working!

[2] Lunatic

I've written nice poem 4 you.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star..
you should Know What you R..
& Once you Know What you R..
Mental Hospital is not So Far..

[3] Dead Fool

Why are Egyptian's Children always confused??
Coz after death, their DADDY becomes the MUMMY.

[4] Mental

My friend, the best quality


Some wonderful sayings

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
THAT'S relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ.
It starts working the moment you get up in the morning
and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
- Franklin P. Jones


Witty One Liners

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in
After a while you realize that while you are getting
dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember
you when he is in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Behind every successful woman, is a man who is

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know


Stupid Question and Answer

10 stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some
equally stupid answers:-

1. At the movies:
When you meet quaintances/friends Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing
A: Well,it's so hot , there were no cool cabs so I thought I'd watch some
advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus:
A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
A: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia why don't you try again or
should i try this time."

3. At a funeralne of the teary-eyed people




Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you
wake up today?

1)Pray, so that u may live... 2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!


Can u pronounce good English:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof,

woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.

Test results:

U r a good dog. Now stop barking.



Stupid Questions and Smart Answers


BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!


Sher Shayari

1) tum aa gaye ho ;
noor aa gaya hai
chalo teeno movie chalen

2) Maine tujhe sau-sau khat likhe,
tune kisi ka bhi jawab nahi diya;
kahin tere dil mein raddi ki tokri to nahi?

3) Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Paas gaya. to bheeg gaya.

4) jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi
jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi
dil ne kaha khud kushi(sucide) kar le jalim
bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi

5) Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,
badi joshh ke sath !
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main,


Some good punch lines

Some great punch lines
1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I'm perfect.

2. I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

3. If I save time, when do I get it back?

4. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

7. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

8. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

9. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

10. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.


Crazy Question and Answer

Crazy Q & A

1) Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

2) My father is so old that when he was in
school, history was called current affairs.

3) Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man
beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue
would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

4) Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you
say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a
good cook.

5). Manager: Sorry,but i can't give u a job. I
don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just

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