Funny marriage quotes

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late."

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found a woman just like mother!"
His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!"
"What happened?" asked his friend.
"My wife found out...

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.