Say No To Dowry

A mail I had sent to one of my friends who said that she did not like giving dowry but was helpless as everyone in her caste expected it.

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From: Rahul Amaram
To: xxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: think about this

When one involves in giving/taking dowry, it is not just a simple one-time transaction. By giving dowry, you are encouraging a meaningless age-old activity in which many women have been tortured and have also lost their lives. In a way, you are actually approving the dowry system by actively involving in it. Read more - http://www.indiaparenting.com/womensissues/data/013.shtml

I know you HATE getting involved in this activity. But yet when I asked you if you'd give dowry you said "What can I do? It is in my parents hands.". I personally think there are very few things in one's life over which there is no control. For ex. in this case, you can always say that one of the pre-requisites for your marriage (like you said you will not quit working) could be that you will not give dowry. I don't deny the fact that when you take a stand against dowry, the number of alliances you get will greatly reduce. But at the same time I don't think it will fall to zero.

Learn to question. In India, I personally think there is a lot of prejudice against women. For men, there are one kind of rules and for women there are other kind of rules. You might think that "I am ok with the difference in the way society treats man and woman as I can be happy with this inequality." But you must understand that by doing this, you are reinforcing the society's current practices for which your daughter and their daughters will also have to face this inequality.

The question is never "What can I do?". It is "YOUR" marriage and if you don't want to give dowry, it won't happen. This is completely in your hands, not in your brother or your parents. The simple question you have to ask yourself is "Am I strong enough and is it really worth to face the consequences of not getting involved in an activity which I think is so wrong"? Remember you just don't represent yourself, you represent a part of the entire woman race.