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Call Centre Jobs


1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still


The Cleaner

Grab a coffee and read this, it will put some perspective back into your

An unemployed man went to apply for a job with Microsoft thinking his
best chance was as a janitor.

The employment manager arranged for him to take an aptitude test per the
company guide line: (Section XYZ: Floors, sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager said, "You will be employed at minimum wage,
$5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you
information and authorization to report for work on your first day.


Management Lessons

Lesson Number 1:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing all day long?

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Number 2:


What is marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.


Match Fixing

This joke was probably written in 2000 home series when SA ended up 2-0 in tests and 3-3 in ODIs, if I am right.:-)

A bookie calls Hansie Cronje before the match between India and SouthAfrica.
Cell phone rings. Hansie picks up.
Cronje : hello
Bookie : I am ....... Here.
Cronje : yes tell me
Bookie : how is the pitch
Cronje : ya dry and good for batting
Bookie : I want u to lose today's match
Cronje : impossible
Bookie : I will pay u $200,000
Cronje : will be difficult to make India win.
Bookie : I will pay u $250,000


Software Guy Proposal Letter

Have you ever wondered how a software guy would

Well, here is a template ...

Dear Ms. ABC,

Baby, I've seen you yesterday while surfing on
local railway platform and realized that you are
the only site I was browsing for. For long time,
I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my
life and you can be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you
which never produces an executable code and hence
is useless.


Sprite Ad

New AD - Imagine urself in Sprite Ad...

Your Colleague : Hey !! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh…. Night out Maar....Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!
You: Achha ! To usse Kya hoga ..
Your Colleague : Impression !!! Appraisal !!! Har appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks
You : Phir kya hoga...
Your Colleague: Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!
You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...


IT Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began making an expected changes to the accounting modules,
limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable
programs such as NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning
2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

Desperate Wife.



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