You are here

Home

Technical

Talking Frog

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and
how you are my hero."

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to
his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

Category: 
Technical

Windows In Hindi

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago. He announced that
Microsoft plans to release a Windows 2000 version in Hindi. Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in Khirkiyan 2000.

Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save As
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Chuno = Select
Sab Chuno = Select All
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Dak = Mail
Dakiya = Mailer
Paas se dhekho = Zoom
Dhoor se dhekho = Zoom out
Kholo = Open
Band Karo = Close
Naya = New
Badli karo = Replace
Bhaago = Run
Chaapo = Print

Category: 
Technical

Management Lessons

Lesson Number 1:
----------------

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing all day long?

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

**************************************************************************

Lesson Number 2:
----------------

Category: 
Technical

What is marketing?

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.

Category: 
Technical

Match Fixing

This joke was probably written in 2000 home series when SA ended up 2-0 in tests and 3-3 in ODIs, if I am right.:-)

A bookie calls Hansie Cronje before the match between India and SouthAfrica.
Cell phone rings. Hansie picks up.
Cronje : hello
Bookie : I am ....... Here.
Cronje : yes tell me
Bookie : how is the pitch
Cronje : ya dry and good for batting
Bookie : I want u to lose today's match
Cronje : impossible
Bookie : I will pay u $200,000
Cronje : will be difficult to make India win.
Bookie : I will pay u $250,000

Category: 
Technical

Software Guy Proposal Letter

Have you ever wondered how a software guy would
propose?

Well, here is a template ...

Dear Ms. ABC,

Baby, I've seen you yesterday while surfing on
local railway platform and realized that you are
the only site I was browsing for. For long time,
I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my
life and you can be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you
which never produces an executable code and hence
is useless.

Category: 
Technical

Sprite Ad

New AD - Imagine urself in Sprite Ad...

Your Colleague : Hey !! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh…. Night out Maar....Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!
You: Achha ! To usse Kya hoga ..
Your Colleague : Impression !!! Appraisal !!! Har appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks
You : Phir kya hoga...
Your Colleague: Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!
You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Category: 
Technical

Living in 2004

You know you're living in 2004, when...
1. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friendsis that they do not have e-mail addresses.

6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "0" to get an outside line.

Category: 
Technical

Pages

Subscribe to Technical