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Three Tough Mice

There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes
a shot of tequila, slams the glass on the table and says, "I'm the
toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk throughout
the house collecting mouse poison, return to my nest and grind up
the pellets with my morning coffee -- just for an extra jolt to
start off each day."

The mice look at each other. The second mouse slams his whiskey --
throws his glass on the floor and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in
this city. I'm so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, I

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed
through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit
except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her
grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the
young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving
each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch
black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without

Lesson Number 1:
----------------

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing all day long?

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson Number 2:
----------------

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.

This joke was probably written in 2000 home series when SA ended up 2-0 in tests and 3-3 in ODIs, if I am right.:-)

A bookie calls Hansie Cronje before the match between India and SouthAfrica.
Cell phone rings. Hansie picks up.
Cronje : hello
Bookie : I am ....... Here.
Cronje : yes tell me
Bookie : how is the pitch
Cronje : ya dry and good for batting
Bookie : I want u to lose today's match
Cronje : impossible
Bookie : I will pay u $200,000
Cronje : will be difficult to make India win.
Bookie : I will pay u $250,000

Have you ever wondered how a software guy would
propose?

Well, here is a template ...

Dear Ms. ABC,

Baby, I've seen you yesterday while surfing on
local railway platform and realized that you are
the only site I was browsing for. For long time,
I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my
life and you can be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you
which never produces an executable code and hence
is useless.

New AD - Imagine urself in Sprite Ad...

Your Colleague : Hey !! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh…. Night out Maar....Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!
You: Achha ! To usse Kya hoga ..
Your Colleague : Impression !!! Appraisal !!! Har appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks
You : Phir kya hoga...
Your Colleague: Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!
You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began making an expected changes to the accounting modules,
limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable
programs such as NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning
2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

Desperate Wife.

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said:
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and
how you are my hero."

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to
his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago. He announced that
Microsoft plans to release a Windows 2000 version in Hindi. Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in Khirkiyan 2000.

Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save As
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Chuno = Select
Sab Chuno = Select All
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Dak = Mail
Dakiya = Mailer
Paas se dhekho = Zoom
Dhoor se dhekho = Zoom out
Kholo = Open
Band Karo = Close
Naya = New
Badli karo = Replace
Bhaago = Run
Chaapo = Print